Editorial: Reactions to new Disney World attractions

So, Tiana’s Bayou Adventure opened for Cast Member, Media and “Disney influencers” last week, and I can easily say that the ride is nowhere near as bad as the click-chasing YouTubers are loudly proclaiming it to be. I’m not saying the ride doesn’t have problems, they just aren’t anywhere near as bad as everyone claims they are.

You’ve no doubt seen stories about it breaking down during previews. Guess what, that’s what previews are for. If it continues having problems AFTER it opens (which it will), then you can write it off as a “failure” just like you do the equally capricious Rise of the Resistance. Oh, we don’t do that? Hmm, I wonder what the difference could be.

Also, I was excited to see that they finally tore down all the walls around the new Communicore… until I saw what was inside it. I get it’s a flex space (like the nearby Odessey), but, right now, it looks like the cafeteria in a community college… or worse that soulless tent restaurant they had at Caribbean Beach a few years ago while they were renovating their main building (and not necessarily for the better). They’ll fix it up for the next festival, but it needs attention now.

The ingenious way they planned to distract us from the shiny corporate dullness was a Frozen style sing-along from their hottest IP taking place on the stage behind the newly constructed building. In fact, I was planning a trip around early September in hopes of seeing it… until I caught one of the aforementioned influencer’s live stream of the show.

This is why I hate being a former Theatre Critic because unlike the Frozen show at Hollywood Studios this “Encanto” outing, which has a vaguely similar format to its DHS counterpart, has absolutely nothing going for it. The two hosts are not only painfully unfunny, but they lack even the tiniest semblance of chemistry not that the lazy (and obviously rushed) writing gives them anything to work with anyway.

Ok, fine, so no-one sees a jukebox musical for its stellar plot. They get a pass on the singing (as it’s outsourced to the audience), but not on the lazy, play-by-ear “choreography” that would make the ten-year-old theatre camper in a shameless, no budget rip-off of Beauty & Beast cringe. They even manage to screw up the special character appearances at the end as even the actor playing Bruno had this bewildered “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing here” look on his face during the entirety of the final song. Which brings me to this show’s biggest and least forgivable sin – they cut the songs off two-thirds of the way through!! So, no “grandkids round-up” in “The Family Madrigal.”

However, unlike Tiana’s underwhelming adventure, the Madrigals can easily turn their disastrous outing into a true “Celebración” of its title (or at least a passable high school production). First, include the full songs, it’s not like you’re going to strike yourself for “copyright infringement.” Second, put something ON the stage (besides the useless hosts). This is Celebración Encanto not Our Town. Third, ditch the trivia and write a script with actual transitions – this is a stage show, not pool games at the resorts!

Lastly, revamp the character appearances at the end of the show. Mirabel is okay, but Bruno spent the entire time looking lost… because he really doesn’t belong there! It should be Mirabel, Luisa and Isabela leading the dance at the end, not just to align with marketing paradigms but because they’re featured in two of the show’s four songs! They’re also extremely popular, and if all four of my relatively simple suggestions are actually followed, so will this show (as in people won’t wander out midway through).

The hard part is fixing Tiana’s Bayou Adventure as the general consensus seems to be that lacks a cohesive story with many reviewers pointing out the lack of a “villain” on the ride. Yes, Disney went out of its way to say the ride takes place AFTER the movie, but nearly every “review” of this ride I’ve seen says it should be Facilier not Mama Odie who “shrinks guests to the size of frogs” (though she can remain the one who “restores us to normal size”) as to be fair, that is kinda his thing. In other words, continuity be damned – this is a log flume!

To be clear, NO-ONE is calling for a Facilier Audio-Animatronic on the ride as it’s as expensive as it is unnecessary. However, if they started working on it as soon as the first “review” popped up online, then they would have enough time to switch the five or six second animation at the “shrinking” scene from Odie to Facilier in time for the ride’s official open next week.

A simpler (and, more importantly, cheaper) solution – which Disney may have already implemented by now – would be to have Tiana say “Well, friends, it looks like that crooked Dr. Facilier is causing trouble up ahead. I’ll send Louis to scare him off” any time the ride resets. I certainly heard the “Br’er Fox/Br’er Bear” version enough times on its previous iteration. Add in the CMs telling guests to “be careful of” or “on the lookout for” the not-so-good doctor would be an equally cost-effective measure – even if he’s never actually seen on the ride itself.

The other main problem early reviewers are having is that the ride is supposedly “too dark” with lots of “black space with nothing going on.” I believe the term they’re looking for is “scene delineation,” though a few people have suggested adding some simple light or shadow effects here and there to suggest that Facilier is watching and/or following you through the ride. It might not be an ideal solution, but it’ll work until they can add they can add in the aforementioned animation. Even if they don’t, it’ll still work with the hypothetical reset script from my previous paragraph.

As I said, Communicore will be fixed in time for their next festival. The question is whether they can (or will) fix Tiana or Encanto…